i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You're like the curious george of whores
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
