I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize