your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
