Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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