You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
