guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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