My pussy is not your playground.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
