I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
