She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We had sex on a dog bed..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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