Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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