i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize