I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize