just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
