ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You smell like stripper and shame
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
