So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
