Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
