...so i touched it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
