I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
