Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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