I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
