You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize