so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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