and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
