and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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