would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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