I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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