super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
