We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
try to milk me bitch
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