You're my little dorito
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
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