Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
