She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
