My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
