Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
