I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
