When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
