just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
