I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
