How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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