If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
