I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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