it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize