the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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