Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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