Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
