Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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