Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
