even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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