this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
