What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
