so explain again why im purple
no
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
