He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
