I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
