Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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