Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
