When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
