Pappa wants mamma naked
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
