A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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