just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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