I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
